Some people consider a Christmas movie to be one that has everything to do with the holiday season. Trees need to be decorated and stockings hung by the chimneys. Wreaths must be hung on every door while lights surround the house roofs. The plot must have something to do with people coming together for Christmas and explaining the spirit of the season so that everything has a happy ending. My opinion is that there is no need to have total happiness and sweetness in a film just to classify it as a Christmas flick. That is why the films I’m about to look at for you all have the theme of Christmas somewhere in them and actually show a lot of spirit. But they don’t tell the tales that A Wonderful Life or White Christmas do because they include violence, action, and some truly mean spirits.

I think everyone has seen and probably fallen in love with A Christmas Carol where we see mean old Mr. Scrooge be a cruel and unruly miser. Things happen, he’s visited by three spirits, shown the error of his ways and bing-bada-boom…he LOVES everyone on Christmas morning. Well, it’s played out and there have been tons of renovations and versions of that story making it almost impossible to remember what the original was all about, but Scrooged can easily jog your memory. The original story is retold very well but with a modern (modern for 1988) twist that made it hilarious and much more interesting so that it was easier to pay full attention to it.

The three spirits are hilarious, nutty, and scary. Bill Murray is perfect in the role of Frank Cross (Scrooge) generating enough meanness for everyone to completely detest him. It’s what you’re supposed to do and he pulls it off to the point where you despise him instead of just being annoyed with him like most Scrooges end up doing. It will make you remember the feelings of Christmas, eat at your soul when a certain someone ends up frozen to death, and make you crack up when Cross gives his ranting and raving speech while walking into the mission.

Alright so this is one of the films that usually makes the Christmas rounds for everyone, but it still isn’t appreciated for the true value that it brings forth. Home Alone is seen for the joy it brings when families are reunited and how important it is to not fight and be friendly to everyone during the holidays because you never really know when they may be gone. Blah blah blacksheep…I love the hilarity and violence and one liners that this film brings to the table and keeps my father red-faced laughing for almost two hours.

How can you not like seeing the Wet Bandits get the ever loving shit beat out of them for thirty minutes? Some of those traps are incredibly ingenious (the blowtorch attached to the doorway) while others are simple in nature (the ornaments on the floor inside the window) and still damn funny. Watching my dad clutch his chest and laugh silently as his face turns red while he sees two paint cans slam grown men in the face is a memory I’ll have for the rest of my life. It’s a great way of sitting us together in one room for a long time no matter what time of year it is because we love it and laugh at it. I love sharing moments like that as a father and son enjoying themselves instead of watching some heartfelt film that no-one says a single word throughout.

Weird right? Ok, so it takes place at Christmas time and the first major event in the film involving Will Smith’s main character, Robert Dean, sees him shopping for a gift for his wife. That’s Christmassy isn’t it? It sure as hell is and that is why this is classified as one of my favorite holiday time films because it always reminds me of the season and makes me wish it wasn’t friggin summer or something like that. It helps a lot that the flick is just awesome and shows exactly what could happen in the world if we’re not careful. Hell, everything that happens in it likely is going down right now to some people and could affect anyone at any time.

Smith delivers the little bit of humor needed every now and again, but has help from bigger names today playing bit parts then. See: Seth Green and Jack Black. Listening to them and watching them play these technical geniuses while stealing information and being low-down criminals is perfect for them because they pull off the roles flawlessly. Gene Hackman is in it. Jon Voight is in it. Hell, Jake Busey is even in it. Enemy Of The State has a little touch of every actor imaginable in it and uses them a lot instead of just giving them two minutes on screen in some cameo role. Oh yeah…and there are Christmas trees everywhere you look so there’s your holiday spirit.

Yet another film you’ll find on most of the holiday lists and one that probably all people the world over have seen and can recite verbatim. It’s easy to remember such great dialogue when you hear a kid with goggles saying things like “I like the Wizard Of Oz. I like the Tin Man!” There’s a little piggy eating from his trough. You’ve got dogs destroying a kitchen forcing a family to listen to (obviously racial and incredibly funny) Chinese Christmas carols. And then there is the subject of the overly sexual leg lamp prize that comes in a crate marked in Italian. You almost have to believe that stuff like that can’t be scripted because it’s so good.

Every year you can watch A Christmas Story for twenty-four hours straight on TNT. People think that they do that so that everyone gets a chance to watch it no matter when they have free time during the day. I say they do it so that people such as myself can watch it as many times as possible and enjoy another dysfunctional family at Christmas time that isn’t my own. It’s a way to learn that families aren’t all happy and full of smiles just because some ornaments hang on a tree or they end up baking cookies. The kids are greedy, the dad is a glutton, and the mom would have a good swift drink every five minutes if she could. Christmas doesn’t have to be all commercialized because it ruins the season of torment and craziness that it should be.

A crummy commercial? Sunuva bitch!

Speaking of dysfunctional families; there may not be a better example then the Griswolds. Clark, Ellen, Rusty, and Audrey have gone to Wally World and Europe together, but spending the holidays together at home goes to show you that they get into the same problems there too. Throw in cousin Eddie, his wife Katherine, some of their fifty kids, and both sets of in-laws…and well, we’ve got ourselves a regular insane asylum. “Shitter was full!’ I would pay money to have a member of my family outside in their bathrobe and scream that to a neighbor.

One of the main things that Christmas Vacation truly portrays is the greed that comes with the holiday season. The main problem isn’t that the lights work only at certain times or the whole family is trashing the house or even that Clark gets stuck in the attic. No, it’s when Clark doesn’t get a Christmas bonus he was counting on that causes all the trouble and sends the holiday into a frantic frenzy. It’s a bonus people. You should never “count on it” because you’re not guaranteed to get it. Hence the term…BONUS! But not receiving said bonus sends Clark off the deep end and eventually brings a SWAT team to his house and guns pointed at his family.

That shit right there…is funny and why we need to learn to laugh at ourselves during the Christmas season because it’s all something we take part in. The greed I’m talking about, not the SWAT teams infiltrating our homes. Well, maybe some of us do get that.

Well, this may surprise many of you, but it really is a fantastically awesome Christmas flick. Die Hard always gets me in the mood for the holidays and makes me wonder what it would be like to actually be John McClane. The guy is just cool beyond all belief and runs around barefoot all the time. I get one single piece of glass in my foot and I’m laid up for the day. McClane has a frickin windshield amount of glass in his feet and he’s trying to kick in plate glass windows after jumping off the roof. Awesome stuff.

One of the things that Die Hard does, like Christmas Vacation, is show how greedy people are during the holidays. Hans Gruber and the rest of his group came on the scene to become filthy rich on money that doesn’t belong to them. Hmmpphh, it’s the holiday season and all they could think of was me, me, me! Greedy bastards! John McClane though hits the ground running and wants to remind every single one of them that Christmas is the season for family and that is who he wants to stay alive to see. Merry Christmas and Yippie-Ki-Yay…mutha f*ckers!”

Oh, and if you don’t think it is a holiday film based off of the lessons it teaches us then perhaps you’ll notice the trees and decorations. Maybe you’ll pay attention to Sergeant Al Powell as he sings that timeless Christmas classic, “The weather outside is frightful. Dum-de-dum-delightful.” And a lot of you may miss it, but McClane himself gets into the Christmas spirit when he has holiday tape holding the gun on his back that would eventually shoot Hans Gruber knocking him out the window and eventually leading to his gruesome death fall. I know that makes me feel like having cookies and cocoa while singing carols.



What a great holiday mood I’m in now and Christmas just ended. I guess I’ll have to wait an entire year to showcase my festive spirit to everyone, but I’m sure it will fade before that time rolls around again. No matter though because all that needs to be done is to pop in one of these favorites and enjoy Christmas in unique storytelling ways that don’t have to be aimed at togetherness, family, and happy endings. Ahhh…I’ll relish in the violence, greed, action, cruelty, and hilarity that just screams MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Five years. For five years now we horror fans have been waiting Halloween to come for more then just the cool costumes, candy, and haunted houses. We’ve all gained a new friend in theatres come October that doesn’t wear a mask that looks like William Shatner. He’s looking out for our well-being and making sure that we don’t take the lives we’re given and toss them away or waste them. His name is Jigsaw and he promises us all that is right. He promises us life. And he’s given us Saw.

It’s always hit or miss when new horror films come out because they’re going to fall into one of four categories. The first one is that it will be a one hit wonder and spit out a sequel that fails to bring in a third of the audience for the first film. The second category is that one that has become very popular in the past five or six years, and that’s being a remake of a past film in which we’ll see one and done. Next up is the third category which would see the film be a total bust and suck beyond all belief. Our last and final category is a rare one that sees the horror film be a total success and spawn multiple successful sequels. Saw happens to fall into the final category and it just keeps on going.

Spoilers Galore People! If you haven’t seen any of the films by now and don’t want it ruined for you, then be gone!

Back in 2004, Leigh Whannell and James Wan brought a new horror film to us. It was done on a rather low budget and took place almost entirely in a grimy old bathroom. Two men were chained to the wall by their ankles while another lay dead on the floor between them; seemingly having shot himself in the head. As time goes on, they get to know one another a little bit and find out that they both have options of getting free and leaving alive as long as they abide by the wishes of a voice coming out of a small tape recorder. Play the game and live. Try to cheat or refuse to play, and you could cost yourself your own life.

Saw was a breath of fresh air four years ago when the horror genre was in a complete and total stalemate. Remakes were being done left and right because directors/writers had run out of ideas. Huge budget franchises were floundering because they had just grown old and dull. Here came a film that not only disturbed you, made you sick, and totally grossed you out; it made you think and taught us all a lesson. The brilliance of the film comes in the fact that it doesn’t need to have a huge budget or be extremely complex to entertain. All it needs to do is spill out exactly what it’s doing to you every step of the way and then at the end, reveal to you all the small details you missed along the way. Genius.

Coming off the success of the first film; it was only appropriate, and expected, that a sequel was on the way. An interesting twist came about to start the film as Jigsaw decided to teach lessons to a group of people instead of just a couple. A handful of so-called “life wasters” were put together in a house and needed to play the game in order to survive. The thing is that they didn’t realize playing the game to save their lives consisted of working with one another to get out and move on. Greed, stupidity, anger, and the inability to just sit back and listen to one another is what eventually did most of the houseguests in. Meanwhile, Jigsaw was playing another game with one of his favorite detectives.

Saw II was either going to make this franchise a total bust or have it continue down the awesome path that the first film paved. While it didn’t live up to its predecessor; it still did a good enough job to merit the continuation of a great series. The things that made this film so interesting is seeing how people worked together and against one another on a larger scale in both the amount of people and the size of the area they had to move around in. I wasn’t too fond of seeing Jigsaw interrogated and having the shit beaten out of him, but perhaps it was necessary for the situation at hand.

Still, I’d have to say this is my least favorite of the series so far.

With the release of the third film, we saw a little of what worked from both of the first two films and watched it all come together here. Jigsaw is on his deathbed and now has the help of his companion and student, Amanda. She has been chosen to continue his work since he cannot move from a bed and since she’s been the only one, so far, that got the true point he was trying to prove to his victims. Amanda wishes to keep her mentor alive though so a doctor has been kidnapped to keep his heart beating as well as her own. Meanwhile, a man named Jeff (who has forgotten he has another child besides the one he lost) is going through hell just to decide whether revenge or forgiveness is the best policy.

Things got rolling again here as the true feeling of the first film came back into play. More people were used, but not nearly as we saw in the second film. Still, it was cool having multiple games going on at one time. That allowed us to sympathize with both of them at the same time while all the time wondering who would make it out alive. Jigsaw would meet his demise in this film and oddly enough, if it wouldn’t be Amanda who would end up carrying out his work…who then?

Well slap my ass and call me Charlie; this one just blew my damn mind. Jigsaw’s life may have ended, but his games were far from over. Sergeant Rigg is the last remaining police officer as Kerry has died and Eric Matthews is still missing and presumed dead. Agent Hoffman is also stuck in the middle as he has been kidnapped by Jigsaw and needs to rely on others for his life to be spared. It seems like a simple plot because Rigg’s sin is that he always tries to save everyone while never really saving his own life issues. Yet so many lives are at stake and relying on the hands of just one man. But…how is Jigsaw doing everything from his deathbed and with his assistant dead as well?

Simple! He got to someone else and it is truly brilliant. If I wasn’t such a damn sucker for the first films of franchises; I’d put this one up there at the very top so far. Saw IV took multiple viewings to truly get everything that went down and how it all happened, but once it was all figured out in my little mind…it blew me away. For those of you that have seen all the films and haven’t yet grasped the concept: the third and fourth films happen at the exact same time. I know it isn’t necessarily a new idea, but it was down to complete perfection and it also answered so many questions.

Why did Amanda die? How did Jigsaw do all this when his throat was slashed open and he was lying on a morgue table? Who was helping him now and why? So many other things got answers too and the door was opened for brand new questions as well that had yet to be answered.

Now comes the fifth chapter of the franchise that has given us blood, guts, gore, horror, jump scares, and made us all look at our lives a little differently. Rumor has it that there will be six films total in the series and then all will be said and done, but that remains to be seen until after next year. I say “next year” because those involved with all things Saw have done a fantastic job of having a new film come out every year since the first one and making it a Halloween tradition. Seeing it come to an end after part six in 2009 will sadden me greatly because there aren’t many franchises that are able to keep things entertaining as the numbers go higher…especially in the horror genre. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, and I won’t for at least one more year.

Anyways, Saw V comes out tomorrow and I for one can’t wait to see it. Keep an eye out for my review of the film sometime this weekend because Lord knows I’ll be in theatres like I have been the past four years so far. What gets my mind going crazy is that the main character of the franchise, Jigsaw, died two films ago and we have yet another new film and one more next year. That’s just insane. And the tag line for this one is, “You won’t believe how it ends!”

Well, you know what? I couldn’t believe how any of the other four ended either. Each one surprised me and did the cool and quick flashback that made me catch things I had either missed or not realized were important. Yet when they say I won’t believe how it ends; I trust that they’re right. I’m hoping to walk out of the theatre this weekend with my jaw dropped and questioning all that which was just shown before me. My trust is in the hands of those affiliated with Saw, and I trust them to keep my favorite holiday season of the year an enjoyable one.

Remember…if it’s Halloween, it must be Saw!

Welcome to my first ever column here on Popcorn Junkies which is to be entitled “Making Movie History.” In it you will see how different characters, actors, or films have evolved throughout the history of movies and television. With all these sequels, prequels, and what not coming out so often; it only seems fitting that those who have never seen earlier variations of certain things get the full benefit of what they are about to witness. For those that have experienced the good and the bad of past occurrences…well, it doesn’t always hurt to relive them. With The Dark Knight shortly about to arrive in theatres, it seemed only fitting that we look at the history of the Joker.

The Joker is a character from the Batman comic books that has been around since 1940. He is a master criminal that has all of the most evil intentions so that he may not only do whatever he wants, but also to foil the one he lovingly refers to as “Batboy,” “Bat Brain,” and numerous other things. His hair is green, his lips are bright red, his skin is snow white, and he almost always wears his traditional color purple. You can’t miss him no matter what variation of him may show up in your comic books, your graphic novels, on your television screens, or even on the biggest of screens in theatres. He is an evil loving criminal that also enjoys having a good time or a side-splitting laugh.

Throughout history, the Joker has been portrayed by numerous people on television and in theatres. Many actors have stepped into the purple suit and donned the green hair so that they could be seen smiling on screen while doing the most sadistic things. Others have gotten behind the microphones so that the numerous animated mutations of The Joker could be graced with their voices. The word “mutations” is used for a reason which you’ll see later, but let us begin with one of the earliest versions of the Joker we ever saw on television.

Cesar Romero was one of the first people to ever play the Joker period whether it be on television, in cartoons, or in films. His version of the smiley-faced villain was not much like the character we have come to know today. This Joker was not murderous or evil or enjoyed the pain of others as much as later versions would be. He was very comedic and always ended up looking more like a clown then anything. And when I say clown, I really mean a clown. The guy giggled and gaffed his way through crimes while never quite being menacing or bad in any way.

Jack Nicholson always had this look of evil implanted on his face no matter what role he played in films. Many weren’t fond of the decision to cast him as the infamous laughing man of Gotham, and some today still consider it to be one of the worst casting decisions ever made. Still, he brought the character to new depths that ran much deeper then anything Romero ever did on the old television show.

Nicholson stepped into the shoes of Jack Napier at first and told a story of how the Joker first came into existence. It was one of many origin stories that have been told over the years of how Joker first got his smile, but it was done interestingly enough. Nicholson took the dark level another step forward to not only being funny but killing people right out. I mean, who can forget the infamous hand buzzer scene and then the lovely line of “I’m glad you’re dead! HA HA HA HA HA…I’m glad you’re dead.” Good stuff if you ask me, and he really did a pretty damn good job at being laughing boy no matter what anyone says.

Making way into the animated world, the Joker took a little bit of both Romero’s playfulness along with the darkside of Nicholson and was made into a great villain that could be viewed by both adults and children together. Batman The Animated Series is one of the best cartoon series in history if you ask me because it stays true enough to its animation nature for kids while providing storylines and characters that will intrigue adults. One of those characters would be the Joker who knew how to have a good time but could get really pissed off if need be.

Mark Hamill (yes, Luke Skywalker) provided the voice for Joker in this series and it was just awesome. That voice is now synonymous in my head every time I even think of the clown and it’s the only way he is pictured in my mind. Hamill’s voice and shrilling laughter made Joker such a funny individual that could kill in a moment’s notice and just pierce your heart with his cold tone. This is one of my favorite depictions of Joker because it is the first one that truly brings forth the character from the older comic books.

And he hangs out a lot with Harley Quinn so that is just fantastic.

As if he wasn’t strange enough, the Joker got a complete overhaul in both look and attitude when it came to another animated series entitled The Batman. To be perfectly honest with you, it took a lot for me to be able to totally take this Joker seriously and accept him. He looks nothing like any variation we’ve seen before and almost is a brand new character. Here Joker is a big ol’ guy with some strange type dreadlocks that is very agile and wanders around in his bare feet which allow him to climb and scurry out of sight quicker then in shoes. Weird, but he has grown on me. Very little though.

Kevin Michael Richardson, who has voiced hundreds of characters, steps into Hamill’s shoes here and his voice does nothing for me in the way of the Joker. It is too deep and let’s be honest here folks, but it’s too damn ghetto for the Joker. So are the dreads and everything else about him. Maybe they were hoping to give him a more urban feel which they succeeded in doing, but that’s just not the painted face clown everyone knows. There are those times when this Joker’s humor gets me giggling because he is quite funny. But little else pleases me. Especially when he gets serious and mad because it goes from old school evil tactics to “I’m big now, so I can kick your ass.”

Sucks.

The late Heath Ledger is who will fill Joker’s purple shoes when The Dark Knight hits theatres on July 18. I can’t quite say exactly how he will do as the Smilex-fueled villain, but by what I’ve seen so far; he’s impressed me enough already. Through trailers and the small handful of clips that have been released from the film so far, Ledger has gotten the psychotic mind of the Joker down to an exact science. He has the look, the attitude, the voice (if you can really say Joker ever had one coming from comic books), the persona, and just the overall feel of what the Joker truly is all about. It is quite scary to be blunt here because Ledger was said to have gotten so carried up in his work as the Joker that it drove him to mild lengths of insanity. If that’s true we’ll never know for sure, but I can see how it would happen.

Some of the trailers have him throwing out such wonderful lines as “Come on, hit me!” “Evening…Co-missioner!” and “A little fight in you. I like that.” All of those just scream Joker and when you actually see and hear them being said; they also scream out insane sadist and masochist. Ledger appears to have put every ounce of his being into making the Joker as evil and hilarious as you can possibly imagine. He obviously wanted Joker to be rib-cracking funny while at the same time being so incredibly morbid that it made you squirm in your seat. The way things look right now before even actually getting to view the film; Ledger succeeded in his very last role and perhaps delivered the performance of a lifetime.

The Joker is someone that has entertained and haunted comic book, television, cartoon, and film fans for years. We’ve seen him in every aspect imaginable and had to pick and choose which versions we liked best. Even though The Dark Knight is still days away from being released Ledger’s interpretation of the Joker would have to be my all around favorite already. Coming in a close second would be the Mark Hamill voiced Joker from Batman The Animated Series. His life has spanned almost seventy years now and he will surely be around decades more. Before my life is over, I’m also sure that I’ll witness countless others try to play him on screen or master the absolute perfect voice for him. He’s already found his way into my heart so much that this…

…will be my next tattoo. Yes, I do like the Joker that damn much. Think about it folks when you sit down and watch Christian Bale as Batman take on Heath Ledger as the Joker. Think about whom is your favorite and see if it’s one of the past, that from the present, or one that could possibly come in the future.

And let’s put a smile on that face.